You want me to prove I'm honest !?!?

One of the requirements for being a horse owner at ASD is to present  a criminal  record check, presumably with no records to check .  I went twice to the Winnipeg Police  Dept and on both occasions found myself in a long lineup (no pun intended) . In fact the second time , I had ticket 71 (again, no pun intended) and they were serving ticket 50...I left . So I've sent in the request by mail, and now Canada Post is threatening to strike. I was hoping my honest looking face would be a suitable replacement for the records check but apparently not.